Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
