i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
