Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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