I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
