respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Boobs are out for the taking
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
