Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Barsexuality is the new black.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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