he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
