i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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