I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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