Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
