Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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