I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
