Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
