they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
