I'm gonna have a badass scar
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
