I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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