Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
