awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
