How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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