This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
