I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
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