we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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