why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
