She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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