i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
