The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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