The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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