oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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