Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
