I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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