Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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