Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
