When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
