You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
