Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
