Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
