It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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