i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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