is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Randomize
