Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I can't turn off my feet"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
