Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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