so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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