Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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