with your own penis?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
