I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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