Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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