it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
