She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
