there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
