Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
