I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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